In recent days, I have embraced the fact that I tend to be deliberate, which means that I come off as moving a little slowly. Not physically (much) … and not vocally (I still talk a lot). No, the place that I am most deliberate and tend to take my time is in leadership. I tend not to shoot much from the hip when it comes to leadership, and it is evidenced in that the biggest decisions churches have made under my pastoral leadership have often taken time to mature.

One church added a large education wing and spacious activity center (almost doubling the size of the church itself) that took years to plan. In another community, the church I led in a complete relocation took seven years out of my eleven years as their pastor. Wellspring (the church I now pastor) took three years of conversations before we became a Reconciling Congregation, and we took three years (that partially overlapped the first conversation) to move into a new governance model.

In all my ministry, however, I have never faced a greater challenge than what is now facing us as a denomination. The strain on the United Methodist Church right now is capable of splitting the denomination apart. It is uncertain exactly how we will proceed. The temptation is to react quickly … to shoot from the hip … but I am still that pastor who wants to make sure we are deliberate and constructive in our work.

As we discern where God is leading us, I have begun working with other progressive and centrist pastors in our annual conference to find our voice. On Monday evening, I created an email that I sent to seven people (which seems like a good biblical number) with a link for clergy to join a dialogue in our conference. As of this writing, we now have 61 clergy members (active and retired) who are signed up and ready to organize.

This Sunday at Wellspring, we will meet to hear more about the plan that was passed at the General Conference, which is both punitive and regressive. We as a congregation will work to find our own voice in this conversation. It will be a time of sharing and learning about various potential emerging paths that can unfold before us.

The most important part of this conversation … any conversation worth having … is to invite the Holy Spirit into our midst. It is the first and most important step we can take. I am aware that there is a great deal of anxiety and fear within the church. There are those who are angry and those who are simply waiting to see where this leads. There are those for whom the word “wait” comes as something that is no longer an option.

But when we “wait upon the Lord,” according to Isaiah, we will renew our strength. We will find new energy where running will not bring weariness and walking with determination will not cause us to faint (see Isaiah 40). We are waiting only on God to work through our deliberations and discernment. What I have discovered is that, when we take one step at a time and trust God with each and every one of those steps, we will discover a new horizon that offers us hope in the face of despair … resurrection in the face of death.

The truth I have discovered in all of this is that it is not my leadership that is important. It is finally the leadership of the Holy Spirit that gets us to our destination. That, my friends, is the journey of the Lenten season.